


Three of a Kind

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Business, F/M, Gambling, Humor, Partnership
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26388673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Laverne's been busy while Shirley's been renewing her friendship with Carmine.It starts with a poker game.  It goes somewhere unexpected.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shotzette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shotzette/gifts).



> A sequel to Shotzette's "Who We Used To Be."

“You wouldn’t believe what happened!” Shirley said, the second Laverne picked her receiver up. “You just won’t! You’re going to be stunned, Laverne, just stunned!”

“I’m stunned,” Laverne said, between bites of celery stalk. 

“Honestly! You could be more excited. I bumped into Carmine while I was taking care of Patty.”

“Oh God,” Laverne groaned. That was sheer nightmare territory. Imagine bumping into your ex while you were running around New York with your new baby and niece. 

“Well, it wasn’t as bad as all of that,” Shirley said, braggadocio as always. “We came to an understanding – he’s going to keep in touch. He’s got an understudy position in this new musical that’s opening!”

Laverne smiled in spite of herself at Shirley’s pride. “Yeah, he called and told me.” Nothing about having bumped into Shirley, but she suspected that he’d realized Shirley would want to spill those beans for herself. 

“Well, everything went swimmingly. So how’s your week been?”

“Fine. I’m a half owner of Squignowski Ice Cream and Talent and we’re having talks with Tony Bennett.” 

“Wait! Back up, start again,” Shirley demanded. “How did that happen?”

Laverne let out a low sigh. “It was a couple of days ago…”


	2. Chapter 2

_A Couple of Days Before_

“All right, ante up!” Squiggy said. “Aces are wild, turkeys are straw, and ladies are loose!”

Lenny bit his palm at the declaration, and Laverne sighed. “Fellas, this is just an innocent practice game of poker.” She glanced at her cards and kept an icy countenance, secretly pleased with what she saw. “Are you really sure you wanna enter that big fancy tournament, anyway?”

“Sure as spit!” said Lenny. 

“Yeah, the Merrimack Casino’s offering a cool 500 thou pot on Saturday. You know how many acts we could buy with that cash?” Squiggy asked.

“At LEAST seven Junkos,” said Lenny. 

“And four Billy the Screaming Opera singers,” said Squiggy with a firm nod.

“But you guys don’t know much about cards,” Laverne said. “I dunno, I’m afraid you’re gonna end up getting in deep with these guys.”

“What’s there to know about playing cards?” scoffed Squiggy. “You match up all the hearts or the little snooty royal people, and you make sure the little numbers go together.”

“Like sevens and tens!” Lenny piped up.

“Fellas, that’s not how it goes,” Laverne protested. 

“That’s why you’re teaching us,” Lenny pointed out. “So whattya wanna bargain with? Oreos or Nutty Buddies?”

“No one touches my Nutty Buddies,” Laverne growled. The following evening was enough to worsen Laverne’s ever-percolating ulcer. She was fairly confident that they’d never be able to win anything at the tournament, and frankly hoped they’d be smart enough to avoid gambling away something important, like the truck.

It was the middle of the night when the boys woke her up in their very ragged, sequin-encrusted suits, turning on her bedroom light without asking. “Boys, I know you like coming in without knocking, but this is my bedroom and that’s pushing your luck.” It was bad enough that they’d seen her in her shower cap, floating on a pool

“Oh, that’s…fine. We can come back at three in the morning!” Squiggy said.

“No we can’t! We need you!” Lenny burst out, and then started crying.

“Don’t cry!” Squiggy hissed. “Only dames waste their days blubbering away.”

“Whaddya expect me to do?! We don’t got a truck or a talent agency!”

Lavene groaned. Maybe she could drown herself in the pool. People had died in dumber ways…

“If we don’t get ‘em back before the tournament ends, we’re gonna have to move in with you.”

Well, that definitely got her moving. “All right,” she said. “But if I help you out, you owe me something.”

“Oh, anything, you’re a lifesaver!” said Lenny.

“Right, one question - how did you get here?” she asked.

Squiggy shrugged. “We took a bicycle.” 

“You mean a predicab?”

“No, Laverne, a bicycle,” Lenny said. 

“Those poor nuns we swiped them from were awful sore,” Squiggy observed.

“Maybe we can put some extra buttons in the collection plate next Sunday…”

“BOYS! Let me dress!”

“You mean we can’t watch?” Lenny pouted.

“Out!” Laverne yelled.

*** 

“So I went to the casino and…”

“Laverne,” Shirley said. “You weren’t kidding me? You gambled your way into a partnership with Squignoski Talent Agency?”

“Yeah, but you’re wrecking the story! You see, there was a guy with a big mole on his nose and I had to beat him in a game of seven card stud. Well, he had this weird tell and before I knew it I had everything back…” 

Shirley’s scream cut off the rest of the sentence.


	3. Chapter 3

“You gotta stop doing that,” Laverne whined, rubbing at her ear.

“Perhaps you should stop shocking me,” Shirley retorted. Laverne could hear her best friend gulp at her soda, then say, “you. A partner in the boy’s agency? What on earth are you going to do? And how on earth are you going to cope with the both of them?”

“Well, we got an understanding. Squiggy gets the talent, Lenny does the bookings, and I write the contracts.”

“Are you even legally allowed to do that?” Shirley said. “Did you FINALLY go to night school and get a law degree as I have so frequently and desperately begged you to do?”

“Shirl, what do I look like, Lady Liberty?” Laverne snorted. “Anyway, we got back from the tournament and I made sure the boys wrote me into the business’ plan, even steven. I think they were happy I agreed to help – Junko the Clown was starting to get restless.”

“Well, I hope it works out. Heaven knows, the boys can use a little organization on their side. Do you really think you can make it?” Shirley asked.

Laverne scoffed. “Even if we don’t, it’s better than running on the old corporate treadmill like a couple of rabid gerbils.”

“Hello!” called Squiggy from the doorway. He and Lenny were dressed to the nines, in their best suits, complete with plaid bow ties and extremely sparkly jackets.

“I’ll call you back, Shirl – my partners are here,” Laverne said. She sat up on the couch, but the boys rejected her offer to sit down with a held-out palm. 

“You have to come with us,” Lenny said. “We got someone for you to meet.”

“Oh?” said Laverne.

“Yes, Laverne - we have found a new client for our humble gold mine,” Squiggy said.

“Amelia the Incredible!” said Lenny.

“Oh yeah? What’s her talent?” Laverne asked.

“She can juggle fire with her toes!” Lenny grinned.

Laverne groaned, but grabbed her purse. There were worse ways to spend an afternoon.


End file.
